oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
