Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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