i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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