we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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