If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize