Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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