I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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