How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I touched a dick in church today
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
