So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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