I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
