She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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