saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
