lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
