I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
