Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
