does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
