I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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