The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
