Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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