I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
