and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
