I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
