Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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