think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
