Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
