just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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