He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
