After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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