I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
