wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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