just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
