id be glad to
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
