i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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