1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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