Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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