yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
