Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
