I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
