This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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