butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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