After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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