Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'd cum for enchiladas.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
