he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Text me some of your sweat
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
