One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
