How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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