I just pynch a tree in the face
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize