upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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