Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize