first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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