Having a random hookup so left but love u
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
