my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
