worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
