yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
