that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
