this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Randomize
