She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
