My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
