D3 body, D1 cock
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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