her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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