dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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