You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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