My room smells like vodka and shame
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
