It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
