You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
