I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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