I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
