Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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