i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
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We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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