I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
You don't make any sense
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